MAKING THINGS WITH HANDS

THIS WAS TAKEN IN MAY WHEN WE WENT TO

SILVER DOLLAR CITY. KISSIN' COUSINS

YESTERDAY AFTERNOON I WENT AND GOT DAWSON FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS TO HAVE MAMMY AND DAWSON TIME. WE WENT TO THE LITTLE STORE AND GOT PIZZA AND HE GOT A ROOT BEER. WE HAD A PICNIC ON THE PORCH AND THEN OF COURSE HE GOT HIS TRUCK, TRAILER AND FOUR WHEELER AND WENT TO THE ROCK PILE.

THEN LATER WE MADE TURKEYS BUT TRACING HIS HANDS AND THEN I CUT THEM OUT. HE CHOSE THE REAL COLORED FEATHERS TO GO INTO BETWEEN THE FINGERS, PAINTED THE BEAKS, PUT THE BEAD ON FOR THE EYE AND WITH MY HELP WROTE MOM ON ONE AND DAD ON THE OTHER. HE WANTED TO PUT HIS OWN WRITING ON IT TOO. THEY WERE CUTE. (THINK HIS MOM AND DAD LIKED THEM TOO!) THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE EZEKIEL SOMETHING. I ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO MAKE A TURKEY FOR HIM. DAWSON SAID NO HE WANTED TO MAKE A TRUCK FOR EZEKIEL. SO I THOUGHT FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I ASKED DAWSON WHAT COLOR AND HE SAID WHITE. SO I DREW A TRUCK ON WHITE PAPER AND THEN CUT IT OUT FOR HIM. HE USED 2 LARGE BLUE SEQUINS FOR THE WHEELS AND THEN PUT DIFFERENT TYPES OF SEQUINS ON IT. THEN HE TOOK THE PEN AND WROTE (IN DAWSON SCRIBLES) AND I ASKED WHAT IT SAID. HE SAID "MAMMY IT SAYS FORD"! LIKE I WAS SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT. SO MONDAY I WILL GET IT IN THE MAIL TO EZEKIEL FOR HIM TO ENJOY JUST WHAT HIS COUSIN MADE FOR HIM. IT IS REALLY FUNNY WHAT KIDS THINK. WHEN PAPA LON GOT HOME FROM RABBIT HUNTING DAWSON WAS TELLING HIM ABOUT HIS NEW TRAIN AND TRACK AND THAT IT HAD A BRIDGE. DAWSON ASKED PAPA LON IF HE HAD A TRAIN. WELL PAPA SAID "NO MAMMY WON'T LET ME HAVE ONE." DAWSON JUST SAID OH. LATER WHEN I WAS TAKING DAWSON HOME HE ASKED ME WHY I WOULDN'T LET PAPA HAVE A TRAIN. I SAID "BECAUSE PAPA WAS BAD AT WALMART AND I HAD TO SPANK HIM SO HE DIDN'T GET A TRAIN." DAWSON SAID WITH QUESTION IN HIS VOICE, REALLY? I SAID YES THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE BAD AT WALMART YOU GET A SPANKING AND YOU DON'T GET ANYTHING. WONDERED IF HE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT LATER. WE GOT TO SARAH AND JOSH'S AND HE GAVE THEM THEIR TURKEYS AND THEN WENT OVER AND KISSED CARSON AND THEN STARTED PLAYING. THAT'S DAWSON. CARSON IS SO SWEET AND LITTLE. BIG FEET THAT DON'T FIT IN THE SLEEPER FEET BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO LONG. HE HAD HIS EYES WIDE OPEN FOR QUITE A WHILE. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT I HAD SEEN THEM OPEN FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME. HELD HIM AND SAID "I'M YOUR MAMMY CARSON. DAWSON WILL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT WHAT WE DO AT MAMMY'S HOUSE."

CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO GEORGIA AND SEE MY LITTLE MAN DOWN THERE. I THOUGHT SEVERAL TIMES YESTERDAY AFTERNOON WHAT FUN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TO HAVE EZEKIEL AND DAWSON BOTH MAKING THINGS AND PLAYING IN THE ROCKS AND HITTING THE BALL OFF THE T-BALL POST. IT'S ALL NEW STUFF HAVING TRUCKS, CARS AND TRAILERS INSTEAD OF DOLLS, KITCHEN SETS AND GIRL STUFF. WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR MAMMY. BUT HEY ALL KIDS LIKE TO PLAY IN THE ROCKS AND DIRT AND MAKE MUD PIES. AND WE READ BOOKS. SO, I AM LEARNING AND OBSERVING AND DOING WITH BOYS AND IT IS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME TO PUT THE NEW BELT ON THE SWEEPER AND GET THE SAT. CLEANING DONE SO I CAN DO LAUNDRY. WOULD RATHER BE PLAYING ROCKS I THINK!

REFLECTING AND REFLECTIONS

When I was in college I loved my english comp classes and the writing part very much. The creative side of me got to shine through and my papers were easy to write. Now, on the other hand research papers just sucked!!!!! So, as my beautiful daughter Amy suggested I ought to write a book. This thought has crossed my mind many times. There are all sorts of thoughts I could write about. Most about happenings in my life and things I have experienced and seen. That go me to reflecting on just how much data goes into our heads on a daily basis. And, just how we see things aren't always how they really are. It is a reflection into our brain. Take art for instance. You could have 10 people look at a picture and each one would start reflecting just what that picture is by the reflections in their brain carrying over their life into the picture. But, you might have one or two that would look at the picture and say that it is just what it is. Look at an antique and you might think lets say that it is a old chest of drawers. Those 2 people would say that it was what it is. Others might think it's a chest of drawers but think how many families have used it. Some might think it was a chest of drawers but may have been all over the US and been moved thousands of miles. If I looked at it I would think that maybe they used a drawer for a preemie newborn's bed or wonder what clothes have been there. Were they men's, women's or children's. Did they keep their important papers in the bottom or did a young girl keep her diary under her clothes so her parents or siblings wouldn't find it. Did it hold family heirlooms? I guess I just let my mind reflect into more of reflecting instead of looking at something for what it is.
As we grow older we can sit back and start reflecting on years gone by, comings and goings and then look in the mirror and see our reflection and know that we ourselves have age and are old. When you look into someone's eyes do you see the reflection of them or just see eyes?
Our minds are working machines that need to be opened and used and not wasted on sameness or ordinary. Remarkably we all have the creativeness inside, but some put up a block to keep from reflecting and see the reflection of happenings. Those people are missing the boat. That is just my opinion.
So I leave it at this. As you look at something or someone, take time to reflect in your mind just what the reflection you are seeing is. There might be more there than just a thing or person. Take that extra minute to find out.

ANGER AND FORGIVENESS

DO YOU EVER GET MAD? DO YOU HOLD IT IN AND SAY THE PHRASE "WHATEVER!" DO YOU WANT TO RANT AND RAVE AND THROW STUFF AND SCREAM AND YELL AND JUST DESTROY WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU??????????
For days I have felt like this. I am angry about little things, and the big things pile up inside me and make me a time bomb ticking away ready to explode.

I am down right tired of working so freaking hard and watching every one else sit back. Computers are suppose to make things easier. And I will admit in some cases they do. But, when everyone does not use them and fights tooth and nail not to learn or to conform to new ways it makes life a nightmare. That is what I am going through at work. On top of that patients don't understand why they can't get their medications from the pharmacy. Try and explain that it is not our fault or the pharmacy but their insurance. The insurance companies are practicing medicine. Dictating what the Dr. can prescribe. And you have to sit on hold for 20 minutes or longer in order to get a prior authorization for a patient to have a CT or MRI. Like I have time to sit there. So the frustrations of work boil inside.

Then you face the traffic coming home after a crappy day and people don't know how to drive. Why in the world do they call it an expressway when there is a light at every city block. Who thought of that stupid name?

You reach the highway and people get in the left lane and poke a long or get on your bumper and ride there. Words drift out of your mouth and hand signals can get pretty descriptive if you know what I mean.

Then since you are already hot and mad and you get home and something little ticks you off then you are really boiling and want to destruct something even more. Everything seems wrong. You lose intrest in anything and you want to be left alone. Your partner annoys you, noise annoys you and the least little thing could make you explode.

Sometimes you try and relax and then there is another annoying thing and you build back up the hot flame in your inner self and the time bomb starts ticking.

Now I am one to keep holding it in and when I finally do explode it is usually not the person who makes me explode fault. They get the initial shock of the explotion. I just can't seem to face whatever it is that is really bothering me and get it out and overwith. What a bad fault that is.

Internalization of anger is self destructive and man am I on that path right now. At least I know I am and can try and control it.

So family and friends, if I seem rather sharp and edgy forgive me. It's one of those times where I just need some time to defuse my anger and cut the wires of the ticking bomb.

It will pass!!! Promise. As it always does. Some lucky someone will be the one to get the explosion. Maybe in the new year I can work on making that something to change. And maybe not.

Got to get to bed and sleep. Another day tomorrow to add fuel to the fire that is raging inside.

THE JOY OF BEING A MAMMY

What a wonderful thing it is to be a mammy to so many wonderful grandchildren. My own 3 and my step 5. Wow I am almost 50 and have 8 grandkids.

I understand now why we have children when we are young. We lack the energy to keep up 24-7 when we get older. I totally loved keeping Dawson this past weekend, but I had forgot how 2 1/2 year olds move and go and go and go. He was good and only cried once for his mom. We played inside and outside and he loves the rock pile. We even sat on the front deck and swang in the porch swing. We use to tease the girls and tell them that it was the smooching porch and swing. Remember Megan????????

I cannot wait to get to Amy's and spend some time with Zek. I look at the pictures Amy puts on the blog and cannot believe how big he is. When he talks to me on the phone my heart melts. What blessings I have in these three little boys.

And then when I hold Carson and look and see how sweet and innocent and what a precious gift that God gave the family, I know that I am truly blessed.

With Thanksgiving coming up it makes me think of what blessings I have. Life sometimes throws us strikes, curve balls and fast balls, but we need to remember that we have to swing into life with great power and might and take the risk if we do hit the ball. Sometimes we run, sometimes we walk and once in a great while we get a HOME RUN and things just seem to fall into place. But, there are those days when we strike out. We need to accept them and go on. Don't let anger set it. Practice until the next pitch and try harder. Don't yell at the crowd, and don't kick the dirt. Get up to bat again and again and one day that home run will be there. Really don't know why I am thinking of baseball in comparison to life. Maybe because I sit at the computer and look at Buffy's softball picture and her running from second to third her senior year. Our minds are funny in the way we all look at things differently and use what we see to relate to what we feel.

Blessings are treasures and we fill our hearts with them through out our lives. My heart holds so many and will hold so many more. Thank you family and friends for the blessings that you give to me.